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To be blunt: White guys, you often approach black women in a harmful way.
Most white men are unaware of the microaggressions towards their black partner that make their chances for a second date slim to none.
So, in order to avoid some head and heartaches down the road for both parties, I’d like to offer white men some suggestions on how to best approach us.
This won’t apply to every black woman, but it wouldn’t hurt to infuse some intersectional feminism into your game.
Microaggressions are comments or actions that unintentionally alienate or demean a marginalized person or group.
These include, but are not limited to, saying things such as “You’re [insert positive adjective] for a black girl! ”These may seem harmless to some, but they’re actually symptoms of deeper problems rooted in systematic oppressions that black women face daily.
He kept touching my hair without my consent, was legitimately disappointed that I could not twerk, and called me “sassy” whenever I voiced an opinion that was different from his.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the first or last awkward date I’ve had with a white man.
And while of course the topic of race should be an ongoing conversation with your significant other, things would go a lot smoother if men — — were able to identify and prevent racial tension from the very beginning.
Intersectionality would help because it’s an understanding that a person’s experiences are shaped by their gender, race, physical ability, and socioeconomic class, to name a few factors.
In other words, you should be looking at the to any of these, then you should take a step back to reevaluate.
My friend likes black girls, but he doesn’t like them too dark!
”Against my better judgment, I assumed that the wingman just wasn’t very good at his job and started talking to his friend anyway.
And when these stereotypes are internalized and then manifested in society, it could have severe consequences.