Dating a hiv person
After my diagnosis, Matt and I stopped making dinner together, speaking to each other, and sleeping in the same bed.
(He was negative, and had been getting tested his entire life.) We broke up within the year.
I had no type, no goal, really, and a bad one-night stand was just as much as fun as one that turned into a mini-romantic fling.
I naively thought I was invincible, that one day a hookup would lead to true Disney princess-style love, and never assumed that HIV would have anything to do with my life.
We made complex weekday dinners to distract ourselves from the fact that we were both pretty bored with each other.
grown up, because I had never even been tested for HIV at my yearly checkup at Planned Parenthood, where I went for primary care.
Matt never been a good match for me, really; my diagnosis just shined a spotlight on that.
The only bad thing about breaking up with Matt was the realization that I would have to start dating again.
Staying on treatment and keeping my viral load at undetectable levels means that I'm going to lead a long healthy life.
In the LGBTQ community, the absence of risk when it comes to sleeping with an undetectable partner, and using a condom to prevent other STIs, is much more widely accepted and normal, though still tough.
But as a single heterosexual woman, I have the added challenge when dating of convincing men, who are often just as naive as I used to be, that they can be intimate with me.
I am HIV positive, but it is undetectable, which means I am one of the estimated 30 percent of the 1.2 million people living with HIV in the United States who cannot transmit the virus.
Undetectable means is that the amount of HIV virus in my blood cannot be detected by a lab test.
I thought it was a formality I should finally take care of.